Turgenev

Being a girl who occasionally wears cute dresses, people often assume I'm the type who loves weddings. Sure, I'm happy for the people who get married but every wedding I've been to there's been something I felt sad about and cried. It's quite scary... if I ever get married one day, I'll be crying a river :/

I'm not afraid to get married, but I'm very much afraid of wedding processions and receptions. People say "it's your big day, you've got to look pretty and celebrate" but there's something about it that seems like a celebration for everyone else. People expect you to entertain them with food and drinks, music, dancing, and anything else. If you don't make ends meet their expectation, they talk about you behind your back or even confront you; maybe you should have done more for your wedding, it was quite boring. What about the people getting married? Why is it hard to be happy for them if they are happy for each other though the entertainment was supposedly crap?

That's the end of rant 1 (in blog form... for now). Next part isn't a rant so much as a proclamation of the love I have for "romantic" literature.
To be honest, I'm not a fan of "happily ever after" as I am for "what could have been." There seems to be more passion in the latter, whether it is physical or emotional love. Characters are more insecure because they know their time with their lover is bound to end soon or nothing is happening and will never happen between them, thus at least one of them grows mad with lust and lives forever with their lover in their imagination. Love is not kind but is pushed to its limits, ready to blow and cause mayhem.

What makes "romantic" literature memorable (despite many plain and boring descriptions) were the affections and intimacy between the protagonists. Being brought together through an event of sorts, they became good friends because they had so much in common and the ability to make each other smile. What kept them apart, however, were their insecurities and how they thought they weren't good enough for each other and how the other deserved better.

The girl was often abrupt with time and emotions. She had a tendency to run away when faced with conflict, when the most simple solution would have been confronting it. She was flaky with her direction and hid and used the characters around her to release the feelings she had for the boy.

She was a liar, coward and thief, much to the boy's dismay.

The boy, although sheltered, was not a fool. There were quite a few components from the boy which the girl could not fill. The girl sympathised, yet continued to corrupt him and distanced him further from what he was missing every time she was near him. In a flurry of uncertainty, she ran away from him. The boy who held her hand blinked only to find her gone.

The girl compared to herself to the company of others. She was just one person, she couldn't contribute anything to his life. She wanted to be someone he could rely on, talk to and have fun with. Then she teased him to keep him away from her secrets and emotions. It would only keep him safe, right?

Questioning her methods would produce more questions and leave one confused, for she committed to being senseless and destructive.

She did nothing more to him than destroy his hopes and esteem, luring her prey into her web with no chance of escape and survival.

Perhaps he did survive and find someone or something else, either living life in harmony or discord. He may have become shrewd and forlorn of her betrayal, keeping the secret to himself or sharing his story to warn others of the dangers of love.

Whatever he became, he never truly got rid of the memory and its impact on his life; thus was Majnun forever isolated from Layla.

Here is a list of the girl's possible outcomes in life:
- Romantically involved with someone; dies while giving birth.
- Romantically involved with someone; victim of domestic abuse. Runs away, never returning. Lives and dies in poverty.
- Lives in harmony and isolation.
- Romantically involved with someone, eventually marrying that person. Lies to everyone, especially herself, for she will forever be in love with the boy she abandoned. Driven by jealousy, she remains close to her secret lover but he has matured and moved on. Eventually he leaves her to live a happy life, while she remains rotting in her cell of madness.


LOL maybe I should stop reading romantic and tragic literature. For a while at least.